EXHAUSTED MOTHERHOOD PHASE

 The Unfiltered Truth About Motherhood

Motherhood is a rollercoaster. It's the most demanding job I've ever had, filled with moments of pure joy and utter frustration. There are constant interruptions, endless tasks, and emotional meltdowns – all while sleep-deprived. It's like having no control over my day and working 24/7.

No Training Manual for This Gig

Honestly, what employer throws you into a job this critical without any training? Especially when a tiny human's life depends on you? Looking back, I wish I hadn't tried to be a superhero mom.

The Myth of the Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but for many of us, it feels more like a ghost town. In the past, communities helped raise kids. Now, we often feel isolated and overwhelmed. I definitely made the mistake of waiting too long to ask for help.

Self-Care? What's That?

My own needs? They completely fell by the wayside. Self-sacrifice seemed like the only option, but it's a recipe for burnout. We have to prioritize our well-being – like putting on our oxygen mask first on a plane – to be effective parents.

The Positivity Bias Struggle

As a psychologist, I knew our brains tend to focus on the negative. We're wired to notice danger for survival, but this can make us miss the good moments in motherhood. We get stuck worrying and forget to appreciate the little smiles and warm sunshine. Mindfulness helped me retrain my brain to find balance.

The Inner Critic Can Be Harsh

I had unrealistic expectations of myself and beat myself up for not being perfect. Hindsight is 20/20, but back then, I needed kindness, not self-criticism. Learning to be gentle with myself was a game-changer.

Love with Limits

There's nothing wrong with loving my children deeply, but for me, it became all-consuming. I needed to find a way to express that love towards myself too, to replenish my own well.

Losing Myself Along the Way

Motherhood can be all-encompassing. Parts of who I was before kids faded away. I gave up work and embraced motherhood fully, but somewhere along the line, I felt like I lost myself – professionally, socially, even as an individual. Reclaiming my sense of self took time, but making space for activities beyond motherhood was crucial.

The Depleted Mom Syndrome

Being a mom can be physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. Psychologist Rick Hanson calls it "depleted mother syndrome." Refueling ourselves is essential to be the best parents we can be.

Breaking the Cycle

Exhaustion, overwhelm, and health issues are often the result of neglecting our own needs. There's a positive path to well-being, but we have to take the first step, not just for ourselves, but for our children. They deserve warm, loving, and engaged parents.

Finding Stillness in the Chaos

Our culture glorifies busyness, but sometimes, we need to step off the treadmill. What's more important – our well-being or the never-ending to-do list? This is a daily battle for me, but I strive to create space for "being" and connecting with myself and my loved ones. There will always be unfinished tasks, but that's okay.

You Don't Have to Go It Alone

Reaching out for help was a turning point. Delegating, practicing mindfulness, and prioritizing rest made a world of difference. The joy came back, slowly but surely. Now, I can weather the storms. There will always be challenges, but beneath the surface, there's a calmness I can access more readily now.